I Just Can't Help Myself
by Blondenbrainless
Summary: AU, Quintana. After both Santana and her math teacher, Ms. Fabray both suffer awful breakups, can they pull themselves together alone, or will they need each other to make it through? Rated M for language and smut.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the idea of student/teacher AU fics. I read a Kurtofsky student/teacher fic on tumblr and it inspired me to do this.**_**  
>Link: http(colon)(slashslash)wewrite(dash)stuff(dot)livejournal(dot)com(slash)1183(dot)html <strong>  
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_Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick._ The clock counted down the last few seconds of the school week. My entire class was silent, sitting at their desks anxiously staring at the large black lines drawing closer to the 12.

_Brang!_ Twenty-odd students jumped out of their desks and ran for the door.

"Excuse me? Miss Lopez? Can I talk to you for a moment?" Santana glared back at me from the door. "I have Cheerios practice. Sorry, Ms. Fabray. I can't."

"I'll talk to Sue. Come back here and let's have a little chat."

She sauntered over and sat in the desk in front of mine. "What's up?"

"Nothing. I just want to talk. You're a smart girl. I know you can do better than a C in here."

She looked down at her hands in her lap, then stared back at me. "No, I can't. Maybe I used to be able to, when I was happy, but how can I concentrate on logarithms when all I can think about is Brittany? It just pours salt on the wound when Artie answers something correctly that _he_'s better, _he_'s smarter, and she chose _him_ over me. I wouldn't expect you to understand."

I sighed. "And why couldn't I understand?"

She shook her head in disbelief. "I've seen the yearbooks from a few years back when you were here. You were head cheerleader, dating the quarterback, and an honors student on top of being President of the Celibacy club and a frequent lead in Glee club. God, even Glee club didn't bring you down. And me? I'm second best cheerleader after my ex-girlfriend with plummeting grades and a reputation as the school slut. We're on two totally different levels."

I smiled at her somberly. "I was very much a different person in high school than I was after I graduated. I guess I should go from the beginning. I just want you to know that you're not alone. So, yes, I dated Finn Hudson. Did you know his stepbrother is Kurt Hummel?"

She laughed and shook her head. "Who would've thought?"

"Not me. See, Finn was the type of guy that would see something with his own eyes, but then believe a story someone else told him without even doubting them. That worked in my favor a lot. So, I ended up hooking up with one of the other guys on the football team, and I got pregnant. This did not please Cel Club, but it was whatever. I told Finn that it was his, even though I'd never been with him like that. He believed me, as did everyone else, until this little brat Suzy Pepper stepped in. You could think of her as the geekier, weirder version of Rachel Berry, I guess. She told everyone the truth and Finn broke up with me. I had the baby, gave it to Suzy's mom, and continued on with my life. That was sophomore year. Then, junior year, we got some new Glee members, and one of them totally changed my life. I fell in love with her."

Santana's eyes widened when she heard "her."

"We saw each other in secret until we graduated. Then I came out to everyone, and we got married when we were nineteen."

Santana's gaze searched my desk for a picture of her.

"We just finalized our divorce last week. She cheated on me."

"Oh. Um, I'm so sorry, Ms. Fabray. I didn't know."

"No, it's okay. I'm still in disbelief that she chose that bitch over me. I would tell you her name, either of their names, but you know them, and it would be weird."

The teenager in front of me smirked. "Oh, come on. You want to tell me. You want to pass on this juicy bit of teacher gossip to a fellow Glee Cheerio only a couple of years younger than yourself."

I grimaced and bit my lip. "Fine. English teacher, Ms. Zisces? Yeah, she cheated on me with Sue."

To say that the girl's eyes popped out of her head would be an understatement. "What? Wow. Whoa. I'm really sorry." She glanced up at the clock.

"You should probably go to practice. If Sue comes in here mad and screaming at me, I would have no problem punching her. That wouldn't look so good on my record. But yeah, so now you know. I know how you feel. If you ever need anything, just let me know, okay? I'm here for you."

She picked up her bag. "Yup, I'm here for you too." She put her hand on the doorknob. "Really, anything you need. I turn eighteen next week, if you're interested."

"Go, Santana." Was that a proposition?

I wasn't expected her to offer that. I mean, the girl had very nice legs, and I did always love Latina asses. Her chest was nice too.

I shook my head. What was I doing thinking about a student that way?

**So, I'm hoping this chapter is at least close to what I did before. Maybe even a little better? I don't know. I need advise for a plot, so reviews are always appreciated! :)  
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	2. Chapter 2

**Alright, so when I went to look up how I spelled a name in Chapter 1, I noticed most of the chapter was missing. I wrote in everything I could remember, but I think I did a little better this time, so please go back and re-read Chapter 1.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the idea of student/teacher AU fics. I read a Kurtofsky student/teacher fic on tumblr and it inspired me to do this. **

**Link: http(colon)(slashslash)wewrite(dash)stuff(dot)livejournal(dot)com(slash)1183(dot)html **

I walked into Cheerios practice in a daze. Had I really just asked a female teacher if she wanted to have sex with me? I mean, there had been all kinds of rumors about me and Mr. Schuester going around at one point, but I started most of those to protect him from Berry. Once she heard that he had slept with me, she backed off.

"Yo! Slowpez! Where were you?" Ms. Sylvester's voice rang loud through her megaphone.

"Sorry. I was talking to my math teacher."

She ran over to where I was standing. "Who do you have, Fabray? Good. Tell her that by making you late to practice, you were just demoted to second best, just like her." She laughed.

"Uh, Coach, I was never Head Cheerleader."

"Yeah, you were. I was going to promote you. You just gave Brittany an extra month at the top!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, okay. Whatever, Coach."

That night, I crawled into bed exhausted from school and practice.

"Are you okay, mija?" My mom knocked on my door. "You didn't eat much of your dinner."

I sat up. "Sí, Mami. Estoy bien. I'm just tired." Yes, Mom. I'm okay. I hadn't wanted to eat much. I just kept thinking about the way Ms. Fabray blushed when I said what I said. How she bit her bottom lip in surprise as she said, "Go Santana." It wasn't a no. It wasn't a yes. Was it her way of saying that she wanted me but she couldn't say it?

I sighed and threw myself backwards to lie down again. What had I gotten myself into? I closed my eyes and prayed to dream good dreams.

_I was the only one in math class, the only one in the classroom. Not even Ms. Fabray was in the room. She had left briefly to go make copies of an assignment for one of her other classes._

_There was a knock on the door. "Santana? Are you in there?" _

"_Of course, Ms. Fabray. I'm here."_

_She walked into the room, and my jaw dropped. My math teacher was standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but red heels and some red, sheer, silky lingerie. "Please, call me Quinn while we have sex."_

"_I, I, uh, wow. Shit, you're so hot." _

"_Yeah? So are you. Come, sit on my bed." A king-sized bed with purple sheets appeared where her desk had been moments earlier. She sat on it and crossed her legs at the knee, then patted the spot next to her. "Come on, I won't bite. Unless you're into that." She licked her lips._

_I sat down next to her, and her soft pink lips were immediately on mine._

_I ran my hand up her stomach under the sheer fabric of her camisole and cupped her breast as I ran my thumb over her already aroused nipples._

_She drew in a quick breath as she unbuttoned my jeans and lifted my shirt above my head to expose my green bra and thong. She lowered her hand to slide into my thong and she slipped two fingers into my wet core._

"_Hmm, Quinn." It felt weird saying her name. "Mm, so good. Harder." I slipped my hand into her thong too, and massaged her clit with my index finger._

"_Oh, yeah." She opened her legs slightly and pulled me into her._

_I could feel her wetness on my leg, just as I'm sure she could feel mine on hers. _

_We rocked our hips in rhythm until we both came._

"_Holy shit!" I screamed as soon as I caught my breath. "Fuck, Quinn. Why would any girl leave you when you can do that?"_

_She caught hers. "I could ask you the same. Holy shit, Santana. You should dream about having sex with me more often._

_What? I was dreaming?_

I awoke to find my hand in my pajama bottoms massaging my own clit and wetter than I had ever been. Today was going to be a fun day.

I drove to school as usual, and as the bell rang to start walking to class, I dreaded the long sidewalk leading to English. Of course, I would have my hot teacher's ex-girlfriend as a teacher also. I sat in my usual seat in the back of the room.

"Ok, so today, we're going to write compositions on having to choose between the safe but good thing and the exciting but bad thing. I don't want anything about choosing between following the rules and not, and nothing about getting drunk or not. I have received those in the past, and they will go in the trash. You will receive an F." Ms. Zisces paced from one side of the room to the other. "Be creative. Think outside the box. These will not be read out loud, and I will never share them with anyone, so don't be afraid to tell a few secrets. Just remember. Nothing illegal." She peered at us from over her thick glasses. "It doesn't have to be more than a few paragraphs. Go."

I was tempted to write about whether to sleep with Coach, or stay with Brittany, but I figured that when she said "tell a few secrets," she meant some of our own.

My Tough Choice

Something that has always plagued me is whether to be myself and announce to the world how in love I am, or used to be, with Brittany Pierce, or stay closeted and pretend to have sex with every guy in the school like that chick from The Letter A. A few months ago, I made the seemingly dangerous choice. I came out of the closet. I declared myself to be a lesbian. It wasn't easy, but I did it. With Brittany's help, of course. I know that I couldn't do it without her. This decision led me to believe that what seems to be more dangerous, what appears to be scarier, is occasionally just the one less traveled by, to quote Robert Frost, and as he so eloquently stated, it has made all the difference. I am happy that I chose to be brave, rather than hide. I took a chance, and it has really changed my life.

That was then. The issue is not now whether to be with a girl, or pretend to love a guy. It is who I want to involve myself with. I desire an older woman, one who has been through plenty of heartbreak and coming out herself, but I acknowledge that she is not the safe one. I could get in trouble for wanting to love her, for wanting to have her to myself when her own companion abandoned her. It's dangerous. She is dangerous. But then I consider that the girls my age don't love me like I think she might, like I fear she might. Do I want her to love me? Do I want to love her?

Now you see my dilemma. This is relevant; this is current. This is something I am at this moment attempting to figure out for myself. I want to go for it. After all, my birthday is in twelve days. I'll be eighteen. I'll be legal. There won't be an issue, which is why I believe I am deciding to stay safe for a few weeks, and maybe discuss my feelings for her if I have them later. And there it is.

I handed in my short essay to Ms. Zisces and sat back down in my seat. I hadn't even thought about what I was writing as I wrote it. I just went with whatever my fingers said. I laughed inwardly as I realized that my fingers love Quinn. I ducked my head as I smiled again at the thought of calling her Quinn in that dream last night.

I thought back to my essay. I said the words love and feelings in it. That didn't even sound like me. Santana Lopez does not love a woman before she really knows her. Santana Lopez does not hook up and sleep with a woman just because she's hot. But then again, I thought, Santana Lopez has never met a woman quite like Quinn Fabray.

**Thank you for the amazing reviews! I received a question on whether I have a plot, or this is just a smut story. I don't even know, but this was a taste of the smut that I can write, so let me know… I kinda want to do a plot, but I don't have a lot of plot ideas. This chapter had a bit of both. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this took so long… School started for me, so things have been a bit delayed…**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the idea of student/teacher AU fics. I read a Kurtofsky student/teacher fic on tumblr and it inspired me to do this. **

**Link: http(colon)(slashslash)wewrite(dash)stuff(dot)livejournal(dot)com(slash)1183(dot)html **

Puck (419-874-2358): Santana, what class are you in?

Santana (419-257-9842): Math, why?

Puck (419-874-2358): Good. Meet me outside of the math hall, near the Drama fountain.

As usual when Puck texted me with something like this, I ignored him. My phone buzzed again.

Puck (419-874-2358): It's actually important this time. I'm not going to try to feel you up in the janitor's closet.

I shook my head.

"Miss Lopez? Put the phone away." I loved the way Ms. Fabray called me "Miss Lopez."

I smirked at her. "Sorry." I tucked the sleek black electronic into my Cherrios hoodie pocket. It buzzed an additional three times.

"May I use the restroom?" I raised my hand into the air ten minutes later, after a fourth buzz.

Ms. Fabray gave me a blank look then shook her head and shrugged. "Sure. Take the pass."

I snuck outside the classroom and sank to my butt against the wall of the deserted hallway as I read my texts.

Puck (419-874-2358): Really, Santana. No bullshit. I need you out here.

Puck (419-874-2358): Santana! What don't you understand about urgency?

Puck (419-874-2358): Whatever. Let your pretty girlfriend fend for herself. What pretty girlfriend? I ran for the drama fountain as I read the last text.

Unknown (567-412-5896): It's Quinn. Nice shirt. Really shows off those nice Hispanic tits. My heels dug into the floor, and I swear my sneakers even squealed like tires as I stopped to look around. Nobody saw that, right?

I gathered myself together just in time to see Brittany pushed up against a locker by Azimio, one of the dumbass football jocks.

"Yo! Hands off the cheerleader, Assfuckio" I barked.

Az turned to me. "What, protecting your little faggot girlfriend?"

"No, protecting a fellow Cheerio. Now back the fuck off." I walked up and shoved his shoulder back from her.

"Yeah, maybe I like watching two girls go at it. Kiss her. Do it. Don't make me force you to do it. Kiss her." I didn't like his tone.

"No. And not because I don't love her, and not that she's unattractive, but I don't take orders from you. Now fuck off."

"Watch your language." A familiar voice sounded behind me. "Brittany, Azimio, Santana, Figgin's office. Now." Ms. Fabray was holding her cell phone in her hand. It was lit up as in a call with me.

I glanced down. Sure enough, I had called her and she heard the entire thing. Maybe she'd let me off, seeing as she knew I didn't do anything.

The three of us trudged down the to the office way too familiar to Britt and me from all of the drama between Glee and Cheerios.

"Now, Ms. Fabray has explained the entire situation to me. This managed to occur in the one place in the school with no cameras, so since she is the only adult to have witnessed this, she is the one who shall decide what punishment everybody gets and how much." Principal Figgins nodded.

I bit my lip. Was I guilty of anything? She wouldn't do anything to Britt, would she? Just Az?

"Well, I think Azimio should get a month's suspension for the things he said, but I can't do that, so general detention for a month should do the trick. Some of the things you said were downright offensive, hurtful, and highly objective of women. Maybe this will teach you a lesson."

He looked down. "Yes, ma'am."

"Brittany, you did nothing wrong. You can go back to class." I breathed a sigh of relief. "Unless you don't want to, in case, I think I can write you a pass to go home."

She nodded thankfully. "Yeah, that'd be nice."

"And Santana, for your poor choice of language, you can have detention with me for the rest of the week."

I gaped at her. "Are you serious? For one fucking word?"

"There's the rest of it. I gave you a day for each time you said it. That made four. It's Tuesday. Today through Friday."

I grumbled under my breath. "Okay, I guess."

"Okay, now everybody, out of my office!" Figgins made shooing motions with his hands.

Quinn walked me back to class.

"So what was with that text?" I rolled my shoulders back slightly to accentuate my boobs.

"It was exactly as it appeared. Nothing more. Nothing less." She nodded knowingly as she opened the door of the classroom just when the bell rang. "Now grab your stuff and go to Cheerios practice. I know Sue, so detention will be at 4:00."

"Don't stand, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me." My phone rang out with the customizable ringtone I had set for Santana. I had just let her out of the room. Why was she calling me?"

"Sorry. I have to take this." I lifted the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"_Yo! Hands off the cheerleader, Assfuckio! What, protecting your little faggot girlfriend? No, protecting a fellow Cheerio. Now back the fuck off. Yeah, maybe I like watching two girls go at it. Kiss her. Do it. Don't make me force you to do it. Kiss her."_ It sounded like Santana was fighting with somebody. I took a quick glance around the room.

"Okay, just sit quietly. I'll be back." I dashed out of the room, running towards where I could hear Santana still arguing with what sounded like a jock. I wondered what she thought of my sexy text message.

After the whole ordeal where Figgins made me punish everybody, I walked Santana back to class. I wasn't sure if I wanted her to mention the text I had sent her or not. Did she like it? She wouldn't report me for it, would she? I shook my head. Of course she wouldn't. She was Santana-freakin-Lopez.

"So what was with that text?" She stopped suddenly outside the classroom and looked me in the eyes.

I blushed. "It was exactly as it appeared. Nothing more. Nothing less. Now grab your stuff and go to Cheerios practice. I know Sue, so detention will be at 4:00."

"There's no practice today. Coach had to go do something secretive. She won't tell us what. But my dad saw her at the hospital where he works, so maybe she has a sick relative or something." Santana pursed her lips.

"Uh, yeah. Maybe." Apparently she hadn't told this batch of cheerleaders about her sister, who was in the assisted-living facility for elderly Downs patients. I shrugged. "So, how about that detention, then?"

"Yeah, why am I doing detention with you, instead of with Ass and everyone else in detention?"

I rose an eyebrow at her. "Don't call Azimio Ass, okay? I can tell the difference between Az and Ass."

She rolled her eyes and shrugged. "I still don't get it though."

"I don't know," I realized. "I guess I just wanted to maybe get to know you better to see why you have such an attitude about your life."

"You wanted to spend more time with me, in other words?" Santana smirked.

"Is there something wrong with that? We have some sort of connection that I can't figure out."

"Yeah, pure sexual attraction. You're hot, Fabray."

"Please, if we're alone, call me Quinn. Fabray or Miss Fabray sounds too formal. We're only five years apart."

"I know that. But I like it when you call me Miss Lopez. It's sexy." Santana smiled.

I laughed. "Yeah, okay. But it still seems weird to me."

She rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Sorry if this is abrupt, but are we just going to sit here, or did you want something more of me?" Santana smiled seductively. This was going to be a fun week.

**Okay, so I became a bit inspired by some stories I've been reading, and I came up with another idea for a story. Please message me with your choices.**

**Title: (What Would You Do?/Reunited and It Feels So Good)**

**Premise: Quinn kept her baby, but is now out of high school, out of work, and out of money. She decides to sell her body for money when she's bought by (Berrofsky/Blaintana), a bisexual couple looking for thrills. Emotions run deep between her and (either Rachel or Santana) so (Dave or Blaine) starts spending more time at work to avoid them when he starts cheating on his wife with (Kurt or Puck)**

**The slashes are choices. The "or"s are the ones that go with one choice or the other. I don't want to do a Klaine or Puckofsky fic, so it's either Faberry and Kurtofsky or Quintana and Paine. Thoughts?**

**Also, muchas gracias to anishadoug for giving me a few ideas for this story! They were really helpful. You'll hopefully see that stuff soon.**


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